Okay it has been a while since I got down to writing. My excuse has been a very solid one everything is broken here (I mean Ghana, generally) including the wings of my muses.

So in the last few months…I kicked out that useless internet provider Vodafone. The bloody cheats claimed I used 15GB in one month for checking emails!.

Vodafone had for months tried to muscle me into paying for their ‘unlimited’ bundle (which is actually not unlimited), and I resisted.

I had many words for them when 6 months ago, I got to my office, only to realize that I was out of data. I called Vodafone, and eight attempts later explained to a lady (who sounded like she was sitting on the the loo) for the umpteenth time, that my 15GB data was finished in a week.

“Maybe sir you are downloading plenty things” she proffered

“I only check my mail” I said, very exasperated (I don’t even know why I bother)

“Let me check” she said (I got the sinking feeling she was just counting one to ten and doing nothing).

She told me 10 seconds later that I was out of data.

“Please come in today and pay for more data” she said (did I just hear the WC flush?)

Anyway I digress…. From Vodafone I moved to Zipnet and then hobbled to Teledata.

Yes, communication means very much to me in my line of work…hustling.

Moving to Zipnet should have felt terrible because boy, was the “internet slow”. But I couldn’t be more grateful, the Zipnet guys actually communicate with you when you have a problem, which is very often in the rainy season, mind you.

Did I feel like I got value for my money? The honest answer is, no.

But imagine leaving behind a fast car that is a guzzler but leaves you on the highway very often  because you run out of fuel and  the fuel  gauge  to that guzzler doesn’t work,  and moving to another car say an Opel Vectra that sputters and jerks and reminds you of Aesop’s fable, the Hare and Tortoise everyday…..damn what am I saying? Well you get my drift. The Opel Vectra eventually gets you to your destination, just like the Tortoise in the story beats the Hare.

That is the best comparison I can come up with comparing Vodafone and Zipnet.

Well I decided not to wait to be ditched first, so from Zipnet  I jumped right to Teledata….now that is like moving from your Opel Vectra  to say a showroom Nissan Sunny. The Nissan Sunny is OK, nothing great. You dare not try and overtake a whole bunch of people…what is the hurry? The AC is crap during very hot days, but guess what? At night when you really do not need your AC it  actually works just fine. That is Teledata! Works best at night when I want to sleep and don’t really need it.

I’m the son of a skeptical dad (not always wearing rose-tinted glasses) and a cynical mum (very toxic) so I grew up a little confused and quite dark I must say, always seeing the half empty water glass  with poison. I wasn’t excited in the least when I heard of Surfline Ghana (one of the licensed 4G LTE telecom service companies).

Friends in the bank told me of test runs and how they experienced orgasmic 24.5 Mbps etc. What did I care? I was in my Nissan Sunny getting to my destination and waiting for night time to use my AC.

I read the Daily Graphic (Monday, August 18, 2014) and they indicated that Surfline Ghana had officially launched its commercial service the very next day, on the 19th day of August 2014. I told you I’m a cynical skeptic. I immediately drove to their offices at Osu( not far from Firefly and opposite Pinnochio). I was cursing as I parked and cursed the parking (there was nothing wrong with the parking, but I still cursed). The security man looked at me as I parked my….Nissan Sunny. He didn’t ask me to move forward or get closer to the next car,as many of those obnoxious diminutive security men do, right after I turned off my engine. That already was a good sign.

I strode into the office which was much more spacious inside than it looked from the outside. A polite young man in a shiny light blue suit (I hear it is called Cyan or something) attended to me and I instantly coughed up GH¢205.00, purchased Surfline’s  Mi-Fi, which allows up to 10 devices to connect to the network to browse. A sweet young girl in a deep blue suit took down my details and five minutes later a smart buxom lady walked me through the setup. Any ordinary mortal would have been impressed by now (buxom lady and all)…service was top notch, now to check out the device.

Back in my office I suddenly realised I hadn’t heard a word the buxom lady had said about my security key,  I do recall she asked me to look at the device….I did then.  I called a friend who had hooked up his girlfriend (or more like himself as he monopolized the device) over the weekend, and I humbly asked him where on earth the security key was. It was at the back of the device (inside the back cover). Tsk, tsk..silly design!

I was at a loss for words when I hooked myself up … I didn’t know the speed and I didn’t care. I have seen many a BWW 7-series overtake my Nissan Sunny and leave me in their wake.

I now know the feeling of superiority …. I need to lose my Nissan Sunny!

Surfline better not disappoint…this is day one and I am enjoying my Mi-Fi to the max. Surfline had “IT IS TIME” emblazoned on their office walls, how right they were.

My only criticism with Surfline is … Y’all know I have to come up with one….the ladies at Surfline should wear the light blue suits and let the men wear the deep blue suits. The men in the light blue suits look like clowns, and there is no clowning in this business or we the savvy users will vote with our feet…ask Vodafone.